Carina Ranieri and Jeff Guerero
Jeff Guerrero
"“You’ve always had the power, my dear”
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The Story
Carina Ranieri
Northport, New York
Social Media: www.instagram.com/healingmycells
Website: www.healingmycells.com and www.chemobootcamp.com
My October 2021 Breast Cancer diagnosis came as a result of 4 year, overdue mammogram and sonogram. Three months prior to my diagnosis; I experienced a TIA (mini stroke) and 6 weeks later, a DVT (blood clot in my calf). The medical trauma and PTSD I was experiencing along with debilitating, panic attacks from a nerve medication I had been prescribed, made my Breast Cancer diagnosis a very much welcomed explanation for all I had been experiencing.

Over 3 months, I had landed in the ER 5 times. Each time, I was treated like my symptoms were anxiety based. I knew my body was not well, and I ended up pursuing 2nd opinions for Hematology and 3rd opinions on Neurology. I advocated to be taken off the nerve medication and my panic attacks quickly dissipated. I knew that my mental health needed to take precedent. I felt broken and unable to take care of myself so I quickly found a therapist.

The call no one ever wishes to receive came and something in me went from crying in my husband's arms and fearing the unknown to a full on "Gratitude bomb". I saw the diagnosis as a second chance at life. The 4 year gap in my Breast health exams was a clear indication that I had given all to everyone around me and left nothing for myself. I went all in on self-care. Began online gentle yoga classes in my living room, created a meditation practice, guided imagery and visualizations and a strict walking regimen and began drinking 64 oz of water daily. While I was doing it as self-care, I was unknowingly prepping my body for the biggest challenge yet.

You see, I am the mother to two young men. The eldest is now 24 and on the Autism Spectrum. Assuring that he received an appropriate education took everything out of me; we were involved in years of legal battles with our school district. Luckily, the lessons learned over the last two decades of legal advocacy for individuals with disabilities and my personal history as an immigrant to the US, advocating for myself since my parents did not speak the language prepared me for adversity and allowed me to develop grit: I had a loaded backpack of experiences and lessons!

By the time my bi-lateral mastectomy surgery in December of 2021, I was in the best shape in over 15 years. I didn't want to lay in bed during pre-op, I found a music channel on the tv and I began dancing! My husband recorded me and well....18 yr old Carina who wanted to pursue a Broadway dancing career (before she listened to society and left it all behind for college and a corporate career) came alive! I danced into the OR! I woke up after surgery and asked to walk around. The nurses said it was okay but told me to take it easy. It was the middle of the night and I could not understand why I was the only one in the unit walking around with my IV pole. I made jokes about running a marathon, as I danced and said I was going to do 27 laps around the floor, the nurses explained that what I was doing was not the typical experience....that is why no one was out of their rooms. I had an indescribable energy and felt completely at peace!

I created 'healing my cells' on Instagram in late January of 2022... two weeks before starting my Chemotherapy. From the minute I heard that ‘1 out of 27’ lymph nodes had come back positive, I radically reframed my journey. I knew that it would mean that Chemotherapy was on the table for me. I saw the 1 in 27 as a gift. I was so fortunate that my surgeon dug deep during my auxillary dissection, though my MRI and Pet Scan showed no Lymph node involvement.

I reframed my journey and never looked back. I viewed Chemotherapy as my 'healing treatment' and never once spoke about Chemo in a negative light. I felt so grateful for my surgeon's work and for the treatment available to me.

I danced each morning from the day I was told about my upcoming treatment, danced thru all of my 14 treatments, 4 of AC....'while most call it the red devil', I called it 'Hawaiian Punch' and 10 of Taxol. I was able to drive home from all of my treatments, though my husband (in the passenger seat) was very nervous and the Nurses assured him that although it was not the typical experience, I was in no way restricted from doing so. I drove from NYC to my home on Long Island (appx 40 miles) with the top down on my convertible in February! It was like the sun was shining just for me on those treatment days.

I filled my days with Joyful acts, counted my blessings, meditated, used guided imagery to prepare me for treatment days and I never experienced any pain or discomfort. I did lose my two- toe nails (which I quickly wrapped with bandages and drew smiley faces on them for 6 months until they grew back! Two weeks into treatment, I decided the hair was thinning and though I assumed it would upset me to lose my golden locks, the time to shave had come! Unexpectedly, freedom and peace overwhelmed me and for the first time in my 50 years on this earth....when I looked in the mirror, I finally saw 'ME'!

My 4 months of Chemo and 25 sessions of Radiation were recorded and put on my Instagram. My Joy was undeniable! During my Radiation treatments, I began handing out Bunny Sleep masks to other patients (since they all smiled when they saw mine) and smiles began to appear in an otherwise anxiety filled locker room. I spread the word about using a 'guided meditation' for body relaxation during radiation and it caught on! My Instagram page organically grew and the energy was palpable.

The Hoda and Jenna @ Today Show saw my story and granted me a wish: to dance on a Broadway Stage for the '18 year old Carina' who came alive during this journey. In October of 2022, they facilitated an opportunity to get a backstage tour of the St. James Theater with the cast of “Into the Woods” and I walked onto that stage and danced like I always dreamed!

When I finally quieted my mind and chose to champion myself, my body knew exactly what to do! In the words of Glenda the Good Witch, ‘You’ve always had the power my Dear. You just had to learn it for yourself.’ Immense gratitude to Jeff for capturing my journey! His kindness means the world!



Thank you Twist out Cancer for this amazing opportunity!



Forever grateful,

Carina Ranieri

Jeff Guerrero
Chicago, IL
Social Media: @jeffguerrero
“You’ve always had the power, my dear”
Digital
24” x 18”
$250
Artist Statement: Getting to know Carina has been an absolute blessing. From the first time we hopped on a Zoom together, it felt like we’d been friends for years, bonding over Long Island bagels and pizza. I'm so grateful to Carina for taking the time to share her story and journey with me, and agreeing to collaborate on this piece together. I am in complete admiration of the strength and resilience she displays every day. Her joy is absolutely infectious and simply radiates positive energy—something we hoped to capture with our piece. While this painting represents Carina’s journey, it’s also just a familiar story to so many others. Our hope is that it serves as a reminder to continue to put positive energy into the universe even through trying times: you can endure anything, you are protected, you are loved.